


but this is what you wanted, Isn't It?

by narryohlarry



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: (sorry zayn isn't in this), 18-Year-Old Harry, 18-Year-Old Louis, Alternate Universe - High School, Angst with a Happy Ending, Anxiety, Depression, Eating Disorders, Harry runs track, I promise, I will add tags as I go, Insomnia, Louis does Youtube, M/M, Mental Health Issues, PTSD, Past Suicide Attempt, Runner Harry, Sad Harry, Sad Louis, Self-Harm, YouTuber Louis, but they get happy eventually
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-01-06
Updated: 2016-03-13
Packaged: 2018-05-12 03:40:05
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 10,866
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5651206
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/narryohlarry/pseuds/narryohlarry
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"I’m awkward and sad<br/>I’m depressed and I’m mad<br/>because i didn’t do something to stop you;<br/>From best friends to strangers<br/>in the blink of an eye<br/>it's like we never existed;<br/>I don’t know you<br/>and you sure don’t know me<br/>but this is what you wanted;<br/>Isn’t it?”</p><p>**********</p><p>Louis broke Harry the same way Harry broke Louis. One day they were there and the next they were strangers, with no recollection of the other, but both knowing that they needed one another as much as they needed air. They broke each other and now, they didn't know how to fix their problems, they didn't want to fix their problems. Four years ago they made sense, everything made sense, the whole world made sense! But now, Louis was a frightened little boy, stuck in a man's body, and Harry didn't have the path to his emotions without Louis by his side. Louis needed Harry like Harry needed Louis, because that's what best friends do, isn’t it?</p><p>***OR***</p><p>Louis gets sent to a mental facility after trying to hurt himself because of things Harry had said to him. While Louis is trying to heal, Harry finds the boy he hasn't seen in almost over a year and his whole world comes crashing down on him.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. WELCOME

**Author's Note:**

> Just so you know, the story is better than the story, the summary is absolute shit! Sorry about that! This story will be set in America, because I am American and I want to make this as accurate as possible. If you have any questions just let me know and I will try to answer them to the best of my ability. Enjoy your reading!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Follow me on Tumblr for updates about this story! Let me know what you think and let me know what you want to see happen in this fic!! Kudos and comments are greatly appreciated!

**PLEASE** **PROCEED WITH CAUTION!!**

This is my story, not like my writing, or my ideas (even though they all are completely), I mean that this is my story. This is what happened to me (at some points more or less exaggerated than what really happened). I was at my college planning night tonight and my ex-best friend sat behind me. We haven't spoken in four and a half years and it was daunting to have her and her parents so close to me and my parents. We used to be attached at the hip, as were our families and then one day we got in this huge fight and everything went downhill. It is still something that affects me everyday and I guess tonight it hit me full force and that's how I got the idea for this story. I never went to proper therapy for this issue (we had been best friends- dare I say sisters-  for 12 years and then one day everything stopped), I started some very unhealthy habits and this is my way of I guess coping and dealing with what I have kept pushed away fro the past four and a half years. My real life story I don't think will have a happy ending, meaning I don't think I will ever be friends again with this girl, but that doesn't mean I can't make Louis and Harry’s lives better! 

**There will be triggering material so please read with caution!!!!**

**YOUR MENTAL HEALTH IS MORE IMPORTANT THAN MY WRITING! PLEASE TAKE CARE OF YOURSELVES!!!**

I will be adding tags as I go but please know that this will be a sad story with sad themes, but I promise a happy ending. 

Some of this story (most of it) is going to be exaggerated for the sake of me wanting to write an angsty fic, not all of this is true but 90% of it will be somewhat along the lines of what really happened to me and this friend of mine.

For those of you who are new here and reading this fic because you found it and thought it was decent enough to read thank you very much your time and energy to read my stories means the world to me.

For thoses of you who are returning and was hoping that this was a FWB (Friends With Benefits) update, I am so sorry. I am putting that on hold because I have the worst writers block in the world and I really need to get this story off of my chest before I can continue in writing and in my life. 

Updates for this will come in waves, there may be some days where I update 3 chapters or some weeks or months when I only update one. I want to be very proud of this story, and I also want to be as accurate as I can make it.

Thank you for reading this, please comment anything at all, I would love to know how your days are going and where you are in the world. If you made it this far and actually read everything I have written comment where you are from and how old you are (if you want). I love you all so much, and by the time you are done reading this Chapter One - The Intro, should be up!

 

I love you all so much, feel free to make friends in the comments and I will see you soon!! 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Twitter:larryhearteyes_  
> Instagram:larry.heart.eyes  
> Tumblr: larryhearteyess


	2. Chapter 1 - The Intro

I’m awkward and sad 

I’m depressed and I’m mad

because I didn’t do something to stop you;

From best friends to strangers

in the blink of an eye

it's like we never existed;

I don’t know you

and you sure don’t know me

but this is what you wanted;

Isn’t it?

Louis closed his journal, sighing into the over sized hoodie that was once his best friends. He wrote every day, self deprecating in sad poetry and weepy lyrics as he tried to move on from his first ever heart break. It wasn’t a sexual or romantic relationship, but rather it was midnight cuddles on the couch talking about the stars and life because that's what best friends do, isn’t it? Taking off his glasses and slipping the journal onto the floor and into the depth beneath his bed, Louis snuggled in closer to his blankets that once shared the warmth of another body, but now only reminded him of what he once used to have.

**************

On the other side of town, Harry spun around in his full length mirror, trying to capture the image of nail marks down his back, left by his most recent fuck. He only ever dreamed about love, but that dream was now filled by a person's nightmare, constantly replaying over and over again in his brain. He tugged on his arms and rubbed his stomach gently, peering at his own reflection no longer seeing who he once saw. He used to be free from himself, alive and happy, now only swimming in darkness putting on a facade for the outside world to see. His emotions kept in a box, locked under key and hidden out of sight.

**************

Four years ago, eighth grade, raging hormones of pre-pubescent children laughing and playing the imaginary game of life. If only they knew what was to come. Louis and Harry; best friends attached at the hip. They were constantly together walking home from school, waiting for each other to pack their things up from their lockers. Protecting one another from anything harmful that was in their way. They walked through the halls on the last day of school before spring break, wanting to beat the friday rush. Louis bent down, collecting books and binders that had tumbled out of his locker and haphazardly throwing them into his bag. Down the hall, Harry did the same. When both boys finished, the tumbled through the empty halls, arms locked, giggles passing their pink lips. They each had last period frees and after they had finished their day’s assignments they busted out of school like a bullet out of a gun. They were on break, but the end of their lives was about to begin.

**************

**> 3 years later <**

“So when did you feel the urges to die, Louis?”

“Not when, who”

"Who?”

“Yes, who. It was a who's, Who urged you to die. He did it, he always did everything. It was always his fault! I never did anything wrong, I always catered to his needs! It was ALWAYS ABOUT HIM!”

Nurses came with sedatives, and the doctors agreed they would try again later that week to get Louis to speak about who He was.

After roughly 5 and a half months in the youth mental ward and their towns hospital, Louis had made no progress. His parents were stressed and so were their wallets, and everyone’s mental status was dwindling. No matter who many times to doctors tried to reassure that the young boy was making progress, there seems to be a setback that always countered the statement.

Louis had been excused from school for the past 6 months. 5 and a half being spent in a hospital, the first half being spent in and out of therapy because his school found out he was harming himself, and they didn't want someone “destructive” within their walls. He was in a mental ward, full of bleak clothes and sad people, who made more progress than he did and got to leave when he wasn't allowed to.

He was allowed a journal and a pen, mechanical pencil and a box and dulled colored pencils. No sharpeners, no scissors, nothing that would fuel his “demons”. But the only demon he had was existing outside these four white walls he was trapped in.

No one ever came to visit him, not even in the beginning. His school work stopped coming and his hope for leaving grew less and less each day he stayed trapped within the fourth white walls. He didn't want visitors or school work, he only wanted the one person who put him in this hell hole to begin with.

**************

Harry was popular. He had trust issues, which is why he only fucked. He had anxiety, but no one needed to know that. No one ever asked him his side of the story, nobody ever asked anything at all. Harry was an enigma for his classmates to study but never really learn anything from. He's the science project you do, but don't ever understand why you got the answer that you did. It wasn’t his fault his friend- although he couldn't really call him that anymore- wanted to die, at least that's what he thought. Who knows, he might just feel the exact same way.

He walked through the halls with swagger and confidence, even though on the inside he wanted to shrivel up under the covers and sleep the rest of the year away. His phone always lighting up with messages that he never bothered to answer. He had all the friends he never asked for and all of his teachers wrapped around his finger. All he needed now was the little boy he used to skip through the hallways with and lay on couched and talk about the stars and life because that's what best friends do, isn’t it?

**************

Louis broke Harry the same way Harry broke Louis. One day they were there and the next they were strangers, with no recollection of the other, but both knowing that they needed one another as much as they needed air. They broke each other with no cares in the world and didn't know how to fix their problems, didn't want to fix their problems. Four years ago this all made sense, everything made sense, the whole world made sense!

But now, Louis was a frightened little boy, stuck in a man's body, and Harry didn't have the path to his emotions without Louis by his side. Louis needed Harry like Harry needed Louis, because that's what best friends do, Isn’t It?

 


	3. Chapter 2 - The Ward

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Follow me on Tumblr for updates about this story! Let me know what you think and let me know what you want to see happen in this fic!! Kudos and comments are greatly appreciated!

“I’m shy, I’m sheltered, I’m stupid, I’m - “ 

Louis crumpled the paper in frustration, deciding that writing at this hour was not the best decision. It was currently 2:22 in the morning and he wasn't able to sleep. It had been a long day in therapy, full of tears and sedatives; the usual. Lous wanted to get better he did, but he didn't know what month it was, he didn't know the date and he didn't know where he was. Well, he knew he was in town, not straying too far from his family, he knew it was probably a transitioning season, either fall or spring, and he knew he hadn't seen the sun (or a mirror) in the past five and a half months. That was by choice though. Putting his journal back on the floor and shoving under in bed he was assigned the groaned, unable to fall asleep. It had been almost three months since he had gotten a decent amount of sleep, his insomnia building over his time stuck between these walls. He got back into bed, wrapping himself up in the paper thin blankets he had received, and closed his eyes. He was sure that his doctor would speak to him about being up at 2:22 tomorrow because there were cameras hidden all around the room, excluding the bathroom. With his eyes closed, he pretended to sleep, hoping that less questions will be asked tomorrow (today). 

**********

“Ok Louis, so tell me how you are feeling today. Remember nothing you say i this room will ever leave it, only I will know and if you need to take a break let me know and we can stop. If you want to take a walk that is ok and if things get too out of hand our nurses may need to step in. Are you ok to proceed?”  

Louis always zoned out the doctor's introduction, deciding that he has heard it more than enough times. When he gives no responses the doctor just nods his head slowly looking through his notes from the previous day, trying to decide where to begin their conversation.  

“So, how did you sleep last night?”

“Wonderfully” a twinge of sarcasm laced his words.

“The truth, please Louis” the doctor asked with a tired expression on her face.

“You know the truth so why are you making me tell you?” Louis huffed, falling into the back of his seat with a thump. 

“Because Louis commu-”

“Because communication is the key to recovery blah blah blah you say this everyday!” 

“Then why don’t you just try to speak about things with us Louis?” the doctor said, keeping her tone calming and soothing trying to keep Louis from bursting at the seams. 

It was inevitable though, soon enough Louis began screaming and yelling about **_Him_**. 

The team of nurses assigned to him rushed in, sedated the boy and took him away to recovery while the doctor slumped in her chair, head held in her hands.  

Louis’ doctor was a young woman named Morgan. She had short brown hair and a small frame. She was petite and upon first glance, you would assume that she was in this facility for help herself. She was new on the job, being mentored by a senior doctor names Robert. He had kind brown eyes and blonde hair. He always came in after her session with Louis because no one had ever seen a harder nut to crack than the young boy.

“You’ll get through to him, don’t worry love” Robert whispered quietly, running a soothing hand down her back. He would try all he could to relieve some stress from her and help her with Louis, but in the end they both knew that he was both of their priorities.  

********** 

Waking up is never easy for Louis. If most patients freak out in their doctors meetings, the get calmed down and their session is done for the day. They tried the first few months to do that with Louis but he never calmed down and eventually they came to the conclusion that sedation would work best. It is also the only time that he ever gets to really sleep. 

He opened his eyes, looking around the room to see that he was in his assigned bed, the shades drawn and a cup of water on his bed side table. Sitting up slowly as not to get a head rush, he grabbed the cup of water, took a sip and reached under his bed to get his journal. He opened it and flipped through the pages to his favorite one. 

When arriving at the treatment center, they take away all electronics and valuables that you have that could be potentially detenning to your progress. They allowed louis to have the journal because at the time it was empty, except for one page. 

Louis’ favorite page had picture scattered all across of it. Him standing on a front porch, his arms wrapped around the waist of a boy he didn't even know anymore. There were small pictures, larger picture and picture underneath others. This book was definitely detrimental to his progress (but he wouldn't admit that to anyone). He had drawing on all of the pages’ white space and doodle and poems that are about the unknown boy in his pictures. He doesn't know this boy anymore and all he could ask for is to go back into the past.  

Louis was startled when a knock hit against the door and it slowly creeped open. He quickly shoved the journal under the bedsheet and between his legs to try and shield it from the nurses and the two doctors coming near him. They approached him hesitantly, which threw him off. Usually he was dismissed by a nurse and sent into the common room in the hopes of getting him out of his room. Doctor Morgan pulled his desk chair over to the side of the bed and sat down, Doctor Robert standing behind her and the two nurses watching from the doorway. They sat in silence, all staring at each other waiting for someone to say something. The doctors expected Louis to make a snarky remark, but he would admit that he had an uneasy feeling in his stomach and was still slightly woozy from the medication. 

“Louis…” Doctor Morgan began very softly, as if not to startle him.  

“We just want to keep you updated on something that have been happening over the past few months that you have been here, ok?” Doctor Roberts asked carefully. 

Confused, Louis nodded his head. He had never had a meeting like this before, he always felt like everyone was annoyed at him, and he was just a nuisance.  

“So Louis..” Doctor Morgan picked up the file that was sitting on her lap. 

“You have been here for six months today…” 

Wait, What?

 Louis’ eyes widened and he started to sit up to interrupt but the nurses were quick to approach him and help him lay back down on the bed, now flanking his bed. 

“What do you mean I’ve been here for 6 months, I thought it had only been two or three or four at the most!” 

“No, Louis, it's been six months” Doctor Roberts said, sadly. 

“But...why hasn't anyone visited me, and what about all my school work, what about all the school I’ve missed?”  

Louis began to panic he thought he had time to rest, delay his recovery and take a break from reality but he hadn't realized how much he had actually missed.  

“Louis, darling, calm down please. We will explain anything you want us to” Doctor Morgan explains, rubbing Louis arm, helping him calm down.  

When his breathing had returned to normal Doctor Morgan began to talk again.  

“Louis, you have been here for six months today, You left school in April when you attempted suicide. It's now october and you have only missed a month and a half of school. We have contacted your school and made an agreement with them to hold back the start of your studies for this year until you are well enough and we believe that you have made enough progress. Your studies in April were curved and graded based off of the work that you had complete and you passed enough classes so that you could continue onto the year you are now in, your junior year of high school. You are in the mental ward in your town's hospital and you receive visits from your family often. All visits from friends and distant relatives have been denied due to the lack of progress you have been making. You have received gift and letters from people who attended your school, probably many from your friends and we have them in a holding safe where they will stay until you begin to make process. Is there anything else you want to know sweetheart?” Doctor Morgan finished, trying to catch Louis eye to gauge how he was feeling.  

Louis was wide eyed, trying to take in all of the information he had received. He was laying on his back still, hand on his chest feel the rise and fall with every breath he took. He was staring at the ceiling, shocked and overwhelmed, unable to speak. He could only shake his head to tell Doctor Morgan that he had no questions. And slowly the nurses and Doctor Roberts left the room to go wait outside. Doctor morgan stayed with Louis while he grasped all the information, staying by his side and offering a hand for him to hold. Minutes passed but nobody was in a rush, all wanting Louis to get better and feel comfortable enough to continue the day. Soon enough he felt his eyes begin to droop and the hand being held in his slip away. That night he had the best sleep he had in all the time that he was in the mental ward. 

********** 

Louis decided to do something. He got up on time, stretched, took a shower and brushed his hair for once. He quietly made his way out into the common room, taking his normal seat by the window. He waited for everyone to file in with their roommates, all chatting quietly and tiredly. Louis examined every face to the best of his ability and realized that he had never spoken to anyone here before. When breakfast was announced, Louis stayed seated by the window and waited for everyone to go to the kitchen before he got up himself. He walked over grabbed a bowl of cereal and a green apple before making his way back over to his chair. He wanted to make progress, get his letters and be able to have visits with people. He hadn't realized that he had totally ostracized himself from everyone else. Today he was going to make a change.  

After eating and throwing away his breakfast, Louis made his way towards what he assumed to be a game room. People were laughing and playing around with each other, as if they had no cares in the world. If Louis didn't know any better, he would have thought that this was the visiting room where the happy people waited for their loved ones. Louis slowly made his way to the door and leaned against the door frame, peering in shyly. The door creaked beneath his weight and all the heads in the room turned towards him.  

There were 4 girls and 3 boys sitting on the floor around a board game. Louis couldn't tell which one. Before Louis could open his mouth to apologize for intruding and retired back to his room, one of the girls stood up.  

“Hi! Are you new?” She asked curiously, cocking her head to one side. He pigtails tilted with the movement. 

Louis suddenly froze, unable to speak. He felt his cheeks get red and embarrassment blanketed his body. He couldn't move, only stammer to the girl who had asked him the question.  

“Hey now, no need to be shy, or afraid, we’re all in here for similar reasons. My name is Katie. This is Lindsey” Katie said, standing up from the board game and accompanying the girl with the pigtails.  

Louis cleared his throat and forced himself to speak.

“I’m Louis. It’s nice to meet you” 

“It's so wonderful to meet you Louis! Would you like to join our board game? We are playing boys versus girls Monopoly” Lindsey said, smile taking over her face.  

Louis felt a small smile grace his face and he nodded his head. Lindsey let out an excited squeak and grabbed his hand, bringing him over to the group. 

“Everyone, this is Louis!”

 Everyone just giggled along with the girls antics and the continued the game, Louis taking a seat next to a boy bigger and stronger looking than he was. He had brown hair and a kind smile, but nothing that compared to the boy who broke him. The boys and girls were separated by the board in between them, four on each side. 

“Before we start back up we should go around and say names! Ok so as you know I’m Lindsey, and you already know Katie” 

Pointing to her left Lindsey pointed out the next two girls.

“This is Marisa, and on the end is Jamie” Marisa and Jamie both waved to Louis, sending him small smiles. 

“Ok and next to you Louis is Alex, Joey, and Danny” 

Danny was the boy sat closest to Louis, then Joey and Alex. They all had small smiles on their faces. 

“Now that you know everyone, and everyone knows you, let's play!” Lindsey said excitedly, and all everyone else could do was laugh along and roll the dice. 

**********

As the day continued on, Louis learned something new about everyone.

Firstly he learned that the mental ward only housed 8 patients at once, which surprised Louis because he didn’t understand how he had definitely saw more than these 7 people at breakfast that morning. It was explained to him by Joey that people can come and stay for overnights if they really need help but the ward only takes on 8 full time patients to ensure that they can get the best treatment. Louis nodded along with all of the information that he received taking everything in. He told them all that he had been in the ward for six months already which was surprising because they had all been there but never seen him before. He explained that he himself didn't even know that he was there for six months and his new friends were all very understanding. 

Louis told them that he was 18 and what he was in for. How in the middle of eighth grade he got in a huge fight with the most important person in his life, who ended up leaving him. He didn't use names or pronouns, still too scared to even acknowledge the situation. He told them that he developed social anxiety, insomnia and eventually became suicidal, that's what landed him in the ward. He told them how he tried to overdose, but instead he woke up in a hospital with an ache in his stomach. They all listen carefully and quietly never interrupting or asking any questions when it wasn't the right time. In exchange for his story they each told him theirs. 

Louis learned that Jamie was 14 had been in a month for self harm, and there was no definite end in sight. Her friend came over to her house one day earlier than she had agreed to and found her in the bathroom crying and bleeding. At first she admitted that she was angry but no starting to see that her friend was only looking out for her and visits her every weekend for as long as they allow her to. 

Lindsey was excited to talk about herself, saying that she was 15 and soon to be discharged within the next two months if everything went according to plan. She was first admitted two months ago for an eating disorder, but it was caught soon enough in the beginning that she was able to get help. 

Katie was 19 and had anxiety. She was in and out of The Ward for the past 3 months coming in for a few weeks at a time when everything got a bit too much for her. She now has an at home tutor and is soon to graduate from high school and is trying to figure out how she will handle college. 

Alex was 16 and in for bipolar disorder. He had been here for almost five months, his schooling being delayed just like Louis. It developed as he grew older, his father left his family when he was very young and it affected the way he developed in school. In his first year of high school it started to really effect his friends and family and also his academic life which is why he was admitted

Marisa was the youngest at 12 and was in for PTSD and had been admitted to The Ward two and a half months ago. She was in a car accident with her mother and aunt and was the only survivor. Her father never allowed her enough time to fully recover before he began to abuse her. A few months after the accident and the abuse began, a neighbor found her bleeding and crying on her back porch. She brought the little girl to the hospital and she was admitted to The Ward and her father was arrested. 

Danny was 19, but born in the same year as Louis, and was also on suicide watch like Louis. He had been there for three months and had been progressing nicely and was soon to be taken of the list. He tried to kill himself six weeks after his twin sister had taken her own. They were best friends and did everything together and he was so mad at her when it first happened he started to lash out and then he became sad and had the desperate need to be with her. Louis related the most and connected the most with Danny and hopped that they could became friends during their time here. 

 Joey was 15 and had been in the ward the shortest, only three weeks for insomnia. It had been affecting his everyday life for the past four years, but only recently has it become detrimental and he decided to get help. He said he should be dismissed within the next months or so. 

  
With the board game forgotten and giggles filling the air, Louis found himself smiling a genuine smile for the first time since he had entered The Ward, not even thinking about a certain curly hair, green eyed memory.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello again! I hope you enjoyed this chapter! Please leave comments and kudos, it would mean the world to me. Let me know if you want me to add anything specific, I will see if I can fit it in and if you want me to tag anything else let me know and I will do it as soon as possible! I really enjoyed writing this and I hope you enjoy reading as much as I enjoy working on it. I promise Harry is coming soon, but let me develop Louis’ character completely first! Again I hope you enjoyed this chapter and let me know what you thought about it!! 
> 
> xoxo 
> 
>  
> 
> Twitter:larryhearteyes_  
> Instagram:larry.heart.eyes  
> Tumblr: larryhearteyess


	4. Chapter 3 - The Ward

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Follow me on Tumblr for updates about this story! Let me know what you think and let me know what you want to see happen in this fic!! Kudos and comments are greatly appreciated!

“Why am I sad

he doesn't deserve my sadness 

but its least I can do for him

after all there's nothing else I can give him”

Louis was sat in the common room with his friends (could he call them friends yet?). He was playing with the pages in his note book, reading over his poetry with Jamie. Jamie also had a book, but her's was given to her so she could write her feelings down when she didn't want to talk to the doctors or nurses. Louis was almost 90% sure that Doctor Morgan and Doctor Robert knew that he had snuck this journal in but they didn't say anything. He was grateful for that. The two of them sat by the window, comparing their own writing styles and favorite pens when Lindsay came over and threw herself in Louis lap. She didn't say anything but she rested her head on his shoulder and he rubbed a comforting hand up and down her back. He felt her tears being absorbed into in blue cotton shirt but didn't say anything, he didn’t want to intrude. He knew she had just come out of a particularly bad session with her doctor, it was always hard to talk about the things that affect them the most. Jamie didn’t say anything, and quietly continued to twirl her pen in between her fingers, while reading over Louis’ work. Danny and Katie both had family and friend visits today, while Alex and Joey were with their tutors, and Marisa was having her weekly hospital check up to make sure that all of her vitals were at normal levels and that her body was working as it should be. She was in a different ward in the hospital, but should be back in the late afternoon. 

It had been about three weeks since Louis met his new friends (?). They had all grown closer in the small facility and often found themselves up late a night watching movies and having sleepovers in each other rooms. Now that Louis was comfortable enough, he joined their group therapy sessions, instead of staying cooped up in his room all day. He went on walks with Alex and Joey, he helped Marsia with her homework, he wrote with Jamie and played board games all day long with Lindsey and Katie. He had become attached to the other seven people who were in this facility with him, and don't get him wrong he has grown a strong connection to all of them, but it was always stronger with Danny. 

When Danny was around, Louis didn't think about **_Him_**.

Danny and Louis’ rooms were right next to each other, they both had Doctor Morgan and Doctor Robert working with them, (out of the eight patients, two shared two doctors, and Danny had Louis just so happened to share). There were eight doctors in total and each patient had a main doctor and another person who helped. Doctor Morgan was Lousi’ main and Doctor Robert was Danny’s main. They had sessions together with their doctor and talked about their issues and thought openly and comfortably. Because they were in fro very similar cases it was easy for the two of them to connect, they were also the same age and had very similar taste in all fields of like. Louis didn't feel like he was in The Ward when he was with Danny. They became attached at the hip, and if Louis had the opportunity to with Danny, he always was. 

Because Danny’s birthday was in January, on the 4th to be exact, and Louis’ birthday was in December on the 24th,, Danny was almost a full year older then him for the whole year, (355 days to be exact). Danny liked to treat Louis like he was younger than himself and often pampered Louis and protected him from the playful teasing of the other. He was always there when Louis woke up, and he was always there when he went to sleep. Louis liked feeling wanted and needed. He liked having someone care for him. 

It isn't like he was neglected as a child, not at all. Louis grew up in a wonderful home with a wonderful and loving family full of siblings and happiness. He grew up with amazing friends and had an amazing life, that is until it all went to shit because of _**Him**_. 

Louis wanted Danny to come back from his weekly visit with his friends and family because he was lonely. It wasn't that he didn't like the company of Jamie and Lindsey, but he wanted to be the one receiving some compassion right now. He continued to read with Jamie and hold Lindsey until Doctor Morgan came into the room and over to where the three of them were sat. 

“Hey guys” she said softly, crouching down so she could squat next to the chair Louis was sitting in, effectively placing herself between Jamie and Louis’ chairs. 

“Would either of you mind if I borrowed Louis, I have some important thing I need to talk to him about”

These worlds made Louis nervous, and his heart started to beat a tiny bit faster. He was begging that Lindsey would grab onto his shirt a little bit tighter, as if asking for Doctor Morgan to let him stay, but instead she released him and got up from her position on his lap. He sighed, anxious, and grabbed his journal from its place and tucked it under his arm. He said so long to the girls and followed Doctor Morgan out of the common room, down the hall, and into her office. He was greeted by the warm air coming from the heater and he plopped himself down into one of the comfy meeting chairs that sat opposite to Doctor Morgan’s desk. He didn't often come into her office, most of the time they met in one of the meeting rooms that was full of books and chairs, blankets and pillows and other comforting things. Louis can only recall one other time that he had ever been in her office and that was when he first arrived and had to sign some papers about medication he had ever taken, or something along these lines. 

Louis placed the journal on the chair, effectively sitting on it and hiding it from sight as Doctor Morgan riffled through some drawers looking for what Louis could only think was his file. She retrieved a blue folder with stickers on it, his name at the top. He had no idea what any of the markings ment but he hoped that he would soon find out. They sat in an awkward silence while Doctor Morgan looked for what ever it was she needed, Louis was quietly playing with his fingers, wringing his hands over and over again. Soon she was done and cleared her throat, getting Louis’ attention. 

“So Louis, I brought you in here to discuss more business related matters. Because you are 18, you can now make your own legal decisions so if you would like to up your medication intake we can have that arranged if your treatment isn't going how we planned or if we think you are making progress we can take back the dose that you are on ok?”

Louis just shook his head silently, not really paying attention to what she was saying because he knew in the end she and Doctor Robert would be making all the final decision. 

“I also wanted to discuss with you when your tutoring and visits can begin.”

This made Louis’ ears perk up.

“As of right now, we have you scheduled to go into tutoring as soon as you begin to make progress and at the rate you are working at, that should be within the next two or three months. You will be able to pick who your tutor is and all the work you will be doing is coming from your school and your guidance counselor will be monitoring your progress from your school.”

Louis sat and nodded his head, everything sounded about right and he was actually excited for once to go to school, even if the school was actually coming to him. 

After shuffling her papers, and checking things off, Doctor Morgan retrieved a large packet from inside the folder.

“Now for our next order of business. You get to decide who is on your no or go list. This list basically says yes this person can go to see you or no this person cant. This packet holds all friends and family members that you have previously been associated and if you are ok with this, I would like to go throught eh packet with you and make this list so you can start hawaiian visits. I think it would be extremely beneficial to your progress here. Would it be ok if we went through this together?”

At this information, Louis’ heart began to race. He knew the names that were going to be on the list, he didn't want to confront any of them. He felt sweat forming on his palms and at hsi fringe line. It felt like it was getting harder to breath, and he felt like he was underwater. He could hear what Doctor Morgan was saying properly, but he just nodded his head as if saying that she should proceed, even though he knew he wouldn't be able to make it through that list of names without having a panic attack. 

Doctor Morgan began, reading the names slowly, waiting for an answer from Louis, indicating who could come and who couldn't. She started easily with his family, saying yes to all of his siblings and his mom and dad. He said no to his step-dad only because he had only just met him right before his had been admitted to The Ward. 

Things got tricky when she moved onto his friends. 

“Ok so the first names on here are Niall and Liam, do you know who they are sweetheart?”

Louis froze, his breath got caught in his throat. They were His friends. He wanted to say no, he really did, but he couldn't. He missed Niall’s laugh and Liam’s hugs so much. He really could use a group hug from them. He nodded his head slowly, indicating that they could visit, and soon after, Doctor Morgan moved on. 

She continued to rattle off names, some Louis said yes to any other he said no. Some took more time to answer, others were quick and easy.

“Ok Louis, and lastly, do you know someone named Harry sweetheart?”

He never wanted to see **_Him_**.

And that's when Louis felt his heart stop, and the world go black; he passed out. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Welcome back!!! Sorry that its has been a month since I last updated. I just had my midterms, college kickoff night, my official college meeting, and tomorrow starts my winter break so I am going on a road trip to visit five colleges and go on tours. To say I have been busy lately is an understatement! Because I am on break I hope that I will be writing more so look out for updates on this story and FWB! 
> 
> I hope you all are well and enjoying this update, sorry it isn't as long as the last one! Please leave comments and kudos, it would mean the world to me. Let me know if you want me to add anything specific, like maybe Louis POV? 
> 
> Sorry aging that Harry isn't in the story yet but he kind of made an appearance here! Like I said, I promise Harry is coming soon, but let me develop Louis’ character completely first and then I will write more about Harry!! Again I hope you enjoyed this chapter and let me know what you thought about it!! 
> 
> xoxo 
> 
> Twitter:larryhearteyes_  
> Instagram:larry.heart.eyes  
> Tumblr: larry heart eyes


	5. Chapter 4 - YouTube...?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Follow me on Tumblr for updates about this story! Let me know what you think and let me know what you want to see happen in this fic!! Kudos and comments are greatly appreciated!

“I don't like writing anymore,

Because all I ever write about 

Is **YOU** ” 

**********

When Louis came to, there was a swarm of people around his and all he could hear was an annoying beeping sound. He slowly opened his eyes, but soon shut them after the blinding light entered his senses. 

“Can someone please dim the light!” He heard a familiar voice yell in the background. He thinks it's probably Doctor Morgan.

The light behind his eyelids soon dimmed and he opened his eyes once more, this time more comfortably. 

“Hey Lou, hey it's ok, can you sit up a bit for me please,” a calming voice sang in his ear.

He turned his head to see Doctor Morgan with a crowd of nurses and his friends all standing behind him. Before he could comprehend what was happening, he was being lifted with the support of the bed behind his and his eyes blown wide. He still felt like he was in the middle of having a panic attack, and the instant beeping noise altered everyone in the room of that. Jamie rushed to his side, his and her journals clutched between her finger tips and she quickly laced her fingers of her open hand between his to help him calm his heart rate. At the same time, all the others were at his sides, holding his hand, running their fingertips up and down his leg to calm him, or brushing their hands through his hair (he loved having his hair played with).

Doctor Robert ushered everyone who was loitering out of the room, while Doctor Morgan dragged a chair over and sat herself among all of his friends.

“So Lou, you gave us quite a scare with that fall, love” She said, putting a comforting touch on his thigh, providing some heat to his cold a dull body.

“I think I can safely assume that there will be some people on you no, 100%, absolutely no list, and I can assure you I have got it covered” Doctor Morgan said with a reassuring smile while trying to lighten the mood.

All Louis could do in return was smile back while trying not to have a panic attack again. It sure helped that he was finally in the hands and comforting touches of people who actually wanted him around.

**********

A few days passed and Louis had been put on bed rest. Not because he had been seriously injured in any way shape or form, but the doctors that had continued to check his vitals throughout the whole day on his first day said that his body was most likely stressed and strained and it would be best for him to get a lot of rest. He wasn't complaining though, he loved being in bed. His friends decided that all of their activities should move to his room. So now, Louis, Danny, and Jamie were in bed all cuddled up together, while Katie and Marisol were squished together on a lazy boy recliner that they had brought in. Alex Lindsay and Joey were bickering over whether or not they should watch another movie or if they should play a board game instead.

Before the real yelling began between Lindsey and Joey about the titanic being a good movie or not, (which, of course it was, who in his right mind (Joey) could say that it isn't worth the watch!) there was a knock on the door, and Doctor Morgan popped her head inside. 

“Hello guys, I hope I’m not interrupting any extreme fun, but I must borrow Louis for a few minutes. We should not be more than a half and hour at most, sorry guys.”

Everyone sighed and began to shuffle out of the room, Lindsey continuing to go on about the logistics and technicalities on Titanic and how, “If only she could have held on a bit tighter!” 

Danny gave Louis one last squeeze and a warm smile, before he was up and out of bed, walking to the door, and shutting it softly behind him.

“So Lou, today I just want to discuss some coping mechanisms with you, some things that will help you when I can help your, or anyone else for that matter” Doctor Morgan said, pulling out a folder and a pen while she sat at the end of Louis’ bed. 

“So I created a list of things that maybe would interest you and just cut me off if and when something chatched your interest. If nothing does, we can go back to the drawing board and collaborate something together” 

Louis gave her a tight lined smile, signaling that she could begin.

“Ok so! How about painting, art, drawing, writing, athletics, singing, volunteer work, cooking, working, more group therapy, therapeutic diaries, video sharing or blogging, maybe it's called vlogging, I’m not entirely sure;”

“That's what I want.”

“Which one love?”

“Therapeutic dairies, but in video form. When I’m all better, I want to look back on this moment, and maybe even help other people, you know? Reach out to people just like me” He said shyly, twisting his fingers in his palm, pulling them out of nervousness. 

“Lou, that sounds like a great plan! I’ll see how fast we can get you a camera and a computer and you will be on your way to a road of healing, and hopefully this will be a fun project for you, something that will help occupy your mind.”

All Louis could do was smile back at her and nod his head. He was excited that he was finally making some progress. His therapy has been going swimmingly and now he is going to be allowed to have visitors and receive mail, and he was so excited what the future was to bring, hopeful when he was happier and free from the muddled thoughts that occupied his brain. 

**********

“Louis! This is so exciting! You might get famous! Can you believe it?” Lindsey screamed at him from across the room. Louis had just put his first video live, for the whole world to see. To say he was nervous was an enormous understatement, but he had Danny at his side, slowly running his hand up his back and comforting him. He had all his friends with him in their lounge/board game room, (the room had the fastest internet, and Louis wanted to get this over with so he could go take a nap, the day had been exhausting). They were eating snacks and all supporting Louis while he uploaded. He had showed them all the short video, no longer than three minutes and they all shared their support and love with him. Them being around only made him more comfortable with this whole youtube thing. 

“Lindsey, I’m not trying to get famous, I just want a way that I can get my thoughts off of my mind, and maybe at the same time I will be able to reach out and help other people going through the same thing that I am” Louis answered truthfully. 

“Ok well can I at least be in a video?”

“Anything for you Lindsey” Louis said with a laugh and he go up and summoned everyone to a group hug. 

**********

A week had gone by. A week had gone by and in that week Louis had gotten 175 views, 35 comments and 29 thumbs up. He honestly thought the views were all from Lindsey and his friends, but when people started commenting and liking his video he started to freak out. The reply he was getting only made him want to make more content, so within the span of this one week, Louis had already filmed and uploaded a new video. He commented back to all the comments, all of them showing their support (something he was supported by, and extremely grateful for). 

Louis was on youtube now, watching poetry slam videos, or spoken word things. He like reading poetry, and he especially liked watching people perform poetry. With his headphones in his ears, he didn't hear the knocking on his door, so his intruded walked right in, startling Louis. 

“Woah! Danny! You scared the crap out of me!”

“I’m sorry Lou” Danny said, laughing while he crawled into bed with Louis. 

“Want to watch with me?” Louis said, holding out the left earphone for Danny to take. 

Without a word, Danny smiled and took the head phone. The two were very comfortable with each other, opens up about more of their lives and small details that they never thought they would share. Danny knows more about Louis than anyone else Louis thinks.

(Well, maybe, except from **Him**.)

Thats is how the two spent the rest of the day, watching YouTube videos, snuggled up on Louis bed. The chatted about absolutely nothing and everything all at once while also managing to learn more about the other.

Son Louis was finding it hard to keep his eyes open. Before he knew it, Danny was taking his earphones out and putting the laptop on the desk next to the bed. He gave Louis a kiss on the forehead and snuggled closer to Louis as they both drifted into a dreamless, peaceful sleep. 

**********

Across town, while Louis slept peacefully surrounded by people who love and support him, a young man stumbled across a YouTube video while avoiding his homework. That video in particular was created by the boy with the blue eyes he once knew so well. The same young man that had caused those same blue eyes so much turmoil and depression. 

So without hesitation or regret, the young man clicked on the video and wrung his hands together.

“Hi..umm...my name is Louis and on this channel…”

The sound of the boy's voice faded and was instead overpowered by the sound of the young man's tears.

All Harry could do was cry when he saw what he had done to the boy that he once loved. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Whaaaaaaaaaaaaaaat!!! Did you see that I threw in some cheeky little youtuber Louis! (If you don’t like that, don't worry it won't be like the whole plot of this story, I just really wanted to write youtuber Louis!) 
> 
> I hope you liked this chapter! If you could please comment, that would help me get these chapters out faster because they are what gives me motivation! This was fun to write and I hope maybe I can have the next one up soon! 
> 
> The next few chapter will be all about Harry! So if you have been wondering where he was...he has arrived on the scene!
> 
> Again, I hope you enjoyed this chapter and are enjoying this story! If you would like to, go read my other story Friends with Benefits! I’m trying to write an update sometime within the next week!! 
> 
> I love you all very very much!!


	6. Chapter 5 - Harry

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Follow me on Tumblr for updates about this story! Let me know what you think and let me know what you want to see happen in this fic!! Kudos and comments are greatly appreciated!

“Harry! Pick it up! You are so far behind your time from last practice, whats with you man?” Liam asked, coming over to where harry was stood on the track. 

It was extra hot out on the rubber track that Wednesday afternoon and Harry’s mind had been filled with images from Louis video. He couldn't get the boys broken face and lifeless eyes out of his brain. He could hear Liam Rabbling about the next upcoming JO qualifying competition and how with the times he had now he would never make it but Harry couldn't listen to a word he was saying. Louis’ face was plastered to the inside of his brain, stuck there on his eyelids, etched into his soul. No one ever told him what happened to the little blue eyed boy when his family pulled him from school. His mom stopped talking to Louis’ mom, (at least that's what he thought), and everyone at school never spoke a word about Louis to him ever again. Harry was confused. Yeah he knows they got into a fight, but it was just a stupid fight, wasn't it? 

“HARRY?! Earth to Harry! Are you even listening to me?” 

Harry forced his eyes back on Liam, finally listening to what he had to say. Liam shook his head and sighed. 

“I’m done with you, just...just go run some laps ok?”    


Without a word, Harry began a slow jog around the track, watching other people on the team zoom by him, all wondering why their track star, school hottie was in a funk that morning. 

Harry was the captain of the track team at his high school. He had some of the fastest times in the nation and was set to go to the Junior Olympics that summer if he qualified. It was his last year to compete, seeing that he was 18 and hopefully his times at the JO’s this summer would qualify him for the Olympics happening the next summer. Harry always wanted to represent his team and run for team USA. Liam was his co-captain for their school team and each year that the two have been at the school they have gone to win their county, state, and most of the time the two boys went to nationals with other members of their team. Harry and Liam ran the 400, 200, and relay together. Harry also ran the 100 and Liam ran the 800 but their best races were the ones they did together. They built each other up when the other one was doing poorly and were each other's biggest competition. They kept each other motivated and wanted to go to the Olympics together.

As Harry finished his laps and went to get some water, he saw Liam starting the cool down and he decided to head into the locker room and go home. He took a shower and got dresses into some tracksuit bottoms and a t-shirt and made his way to his car. He was out of the lot before practice was over and before Liam could ask him what the fuck was going on. 

**********

“Ok so this is my second video I think..? Maybe third...the title will say it and i'll figure it out but I’m not sure i've filmed so many I don't know what I’m uploading.” The boy behind the camera let out a soft, quiet giggle and it made Harry’s heart break.

He continued to watch on, repeating the six videos that the boy had uploaded. He missed him. He really missed him. He didn't even know what happened, they got in a small fight and before he knew it, Louis was being taken out of school, there were rumors going around about what had happened to him, but no one knew the truth. 

Harry's still doesn't know what happens. Louis’ best friend Niall gives him dirty looks at school, and Liam has avoided the subject of the boy like the black plague. 

Harry honestly tried to forget about him, he thought the boy was blowing things out of proportions.

His videos suggested otherwise. 

Harry had watched the six videos that Louis had posted five time over, each. The smaller boy explained what had happened to him, where he was and who he was with. That all explained why he was always sitting in a plain, boring white room, with plain boring clothes provided by the hospital. 

He clicked out of the window, and opened the first video. 

The editing was well done and showed cute little outtakes of the boy adjusting the camera equipment, focusing, yelling at people to get out, only to receive a pillow to the face in retaliation. Harry missed the boy.

“Ok hi! So my name is Louis, I am a resident in a mental facility in my town’s local hospital; my friends and I like to call it The Ward. I am 18 years old, soon to be 19, I would have been a senior in high school but because I am here, my learning got put on hold. I have a tutor who comes a few times a weka and we are proceeding very slowly but I am still trying to get back up to speed with the whole school thing. I have a story that revolves around me and a guy that we will call Kenny in these vlog things, I’m still not sure what I going to call this, should I make it a series? Let me now in the comments, if anyone is actually watching this right now”    
  
Harry paused the video to breath, no matter how many times he watched this videos, he still got overwhelmed with sadness, depression and hurt. His heart hurt and the thought of hurting the little boy sitting behind the screen. 

The title was called, “My Mental Series - Vlog 1”, and Harry knew that he was Kenny. 

Harry took a deep, pressed play and continued the video. 

“So let's just say Kenny was my best friend, we had been best friends since kindergarten, so like we were four or five years old. We spent every waking moment of our childhood together. All through elementary school, we would always have play dates, do our homework together, make imaginary villages and be the kings over all of the ants and beetles and leaves. In the third grade, when we were about seven or eight, Kenny moved next door to me and I was so happy. It was the happiest day of my entire life and I was ecstatic. We had even more fun together, having sleepovers on school nights, plays dates all weekend long and our families got along really well. When we got to middle school though, some things changed. Kenny got really good a track and he ran all over the country in competitions and I would always try to go to his home meets and cheer him on at the finish line. When Kenny started to do track, we had less time to spend together so I decided to join a sports team, but I’m not really good at sports so I decide to join our school's photography club, and I loved it! I loved taking pictures, and sometimes my mom would even let me bring our family camera to Kenny’s meets and I would take pictures of him when he crossed the finish line. We would sit for hours just talking and as we go older we don't really talk about sports of photography, but we talked about like school work and girls. This is when I felt like me and Kenny really started to drift.”

Harry paused, wiped the tears off his face, took a breath, played. (He couldn't believe he did this to Louis). 

“So umm, before you continue, you should know that I’m gay. 

Harry paused the video again to breath. He was going to throw up. 

He was terrible, he was awful, he was going to pass out. He knew what Louis was going to say next and he wanted to kill himself because of it. He knew what was going to happen, he was going to torture himself by pressing play, he did every time he watched this stupid video but he couldn't pull himself away. He took a deep breath wiped his tears from his face. He pulled his knees up to his chest, wrapping his arms around himself, trying to make his body smaller and disappear from the world. He hated himself.

He pressed play and cried. 

“Umm, so I told Kenny that I was gay”

There was a cut in the video and Louis’ eyes were now glassy, his cheeks had tear stains.

He cleared his voice and spoke again

“Yeah, so I told Kenny I was gay and Kenny…” a visible shiver shook through Louis’ small body.

Harry got up from his chair, ran to the bathroom and threw up the contents of his stomach. While he laid on the bathroom floor crying the video continued to play softly in the background.

“...Kenny told everyone in school after I told him, I was still in the closet and very unsure at the time about how I really felt and he told everyone that I was gay. I hadn't really accepted myself yet and I wanted him there to support me but instead he outed me. He and his friends all started to bully me. Kenny would come over to my house, because he was still my neighbor and he would hurt me, and call me names. He truly broke me and that's why I am here in The Ward. I’m in what most people would call rehab. I tried to kill myself, because he told me so many times that I should and I actually believed him. I'm only now starting to accept myself. It's been a hard road for me and my therapist here suggested that I start these vlogs to try and open up while not really opening up to anyone. Does that make sense? Like through the vlog I’m able to tell people about what I went through and what he did to me without actually having to sit down and face someone. I've been here in the facility for over six or seven months now and I'm only starting to get help now because I completely shut down and wouldn't talk to anyone. I’ve become very anxious and very nervous about meeting new people, and I still don't trust anyone that much, but I’m leaning. Not everyone wants to bring me down.” 

At that Harry ran to his room and slapped his laptop screen down, effectively shutting the video off. He then ran back to the bathroom to empty his stomach once more. He hated himself. He really did. He wanted to go back in time and hug Louis, the small boy who trusted him so much and Harry had broken him. He had no idea where he was but he knew nobody would ever let him go near Louis ever again. Harry just wanted to go back to when they were small and in elementary school, back to a more simple time. Harry wanted to have Louis in his arms, and squeeze him tight and tell him that everything would be alright.

But harry knew he couldn't do that. Because he was the one who made Louis like this. And he hated himself for it. 

********** 

The next morning Harry woke up to a banging on the door. He didn't understand who was waking him up but then he realized that it was almost 6:15 and he was asleep on the bathroom floor. He sister was yelling from the other side that she had to get in and get ready for work and he needed to get ready fro school. He slowly stood up, still feeling sick and wobbly on his feet. He brushed his teeth, and quickly got in the shower. He went through his morning routine washing his hair, body and face, getting out as quick as possible, trying to avoid the wrath that was Gemma. When he got out of the bathroom, towel wrapped around his waist, he tried to avoid Gemma as he ran to his bedroom. He was not in the mood to discuss why he as on the bathroom floor and not in bed, again. 

He got dressed for school, packed his backpack and track bag and made his way to his car and off to school. 

He was on the track running slow laps before 6:30 trying to clear his mind and get ready for the day when he heard footsteps pattering behind him. 

He turned his body around, jogging backwards and watched as Liam sprinted to meet up with him. They both slowed back down to match their paces and ran in silence for three laps. It was after the third lap that Harry ran to the side to get water and Liam followed him.

“Why did you leave before cool down yesterday?” 

Harry just signed and continued to drink his water.

“Harry, you have been leaving everyday earlier for the past few weeks and nobody can understand why their captain is bailing in them.”

Harry didn't respond but continued to drink his water. He was hoping that maybe Liam’s voice would get swallowed up in his gulps so he could be alone again before school started in 45 minutes. 

“Harry are you even listening to me?” Liam asked, exasperated.

Harry put his water down, looked at Liam and shook his head and started his laps again. 

“Harry you can't keep doing this, I don't know what it going on but you have got to talk to my buddy. Whats got you in this funk?” 

Harry turned around stopped his jog and looked Liam straight in the eye.

“Liam, just leave me the fuck alone would ya?” 

“Harry, what is wrong with you! You are training like a maniac, you can't seem to have a decent conversation with anyone without acting out, and you have got a stick so far up your ass I don't think even you can find it anymore! You're acting like a right prick mate!” 

“You know what Liam, if I'm acting like such a prick, why are you still here?

“I’m worried about you Harry” Liam said, slowly making his way closer to where Harry was standing in the middle of the track.

“Well guess what Liam, I’m a prick, you said it yourself. I’m a terrible person who doesn't deserve your kindness, so do everyone a favor and leave me alone, ok?”

With that Harry took off, back to his laps leaving Liam standing in the middle of the track confused out of his mind, unsure how to approach Harry. 

He decided that it would be best if he left the boy alone and soon he gathered up his things and went to hit the showers.

When Harry was sure he was gone, and no one else was in sight he made his way over to the high jump mats, sinking down to his knees and rocking himself back and forth on the balls of his feet. He felt tears run down his cheeks and he could hear his sobs fill the air. 

All he could think of was the poor little blue eyed boy sitting in a mental ward, and how it was all his fault. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This has been sitting in my google drive for about five days and I have been too afraid to post it. This is the part of the story where I am kind of writing my own story into this so please be nice and remember my welcome letter (the first chapter).
> 
> I hope you are enjoying this story, if you are please comment, I feel unmotivated when nobody comments. 
> 
> I love you all and hope you like reading this!! 
> 
> If you also read FWB there is a chapter on it way, I am updating the same day that I am updating this story!
> 
> See you soon! Xx :)


End file.
